If you needed to hear a quick, sharp joke, which Federal Circuit judge would you turn to?
Chief Judge Howard T. Markey! Judge Markey was known to be a very witty individual who was able to combine his humor and serious commitment to public service. As the Chief Judge, Markey was able to summon a conference under Section 333 of Title 28 of the United States Code “for the purpose of considering the business of the courts and advising means of improving the administration of justice.” At these Judicial Conferences, members of the bar, judges from the lower tribunals of the court, and federal administrative agencies discuss topics of interest to the bench and the bar. However, the Judicial Conferences were the highlight of Judge Markey’s work schedule as he shared his fantastic wit via jokes throughout his speeches. In addition to the Judicial Conference, Judge Markey frequently incorporated jokes into other speeches, but such jokes were almost always directed at a deeper point about life and people. Selected jokes from his speeches at various Judicial Conferences are shared below:
"Welcome also to those of you from out of town to wonderful Washington, the entertainment capital of the world. Where else would you find a department devoted to the mountains and the prairies and the valleys and the rivers and the lakes and the parks – to all of the great outdoors – and find it called the “Department of the Interior?”"
Chief Judge Howard T. Markey
"I went to a party recently and a friend said, “Isn’t this the dullest party you were ever at?” I said, “It sure is. I think I will leave.” He said, “Well, that’ll help some.”"
Chief Judge Howard T. Markey
"I’m not sure I should be up here. As I walked in one lawyer said to the other, “Did you hear Judge Markey’s last speech?” and the other one said, “Gosh, I hope so.”"
Chief Judge Howard T. Markey
"We do have your problems. I heard one lawyer say this morning, “Don’t you think the biggest problems in our society are ignorance and apathy?” And the other lawyer said, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”"
Chief Judge Howard T. Markey
"With respect to the State of the Court, I am an optimist. You know what an optimist is – a fellow who falls off a twenty-story building and as he goes by each floor on the way down, he says, “Well, everything’s alright so far.” And I say, everything’s all right so far."
Chief Judge Howard T. Markey
All of these from Journal of the Fed. Circuit Historical Soc. Vol. 1, 2007
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